Caring for an aging parent
Caring for an aging parent can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, especially when you are also taking care of your own children. This is often referred to as the “sandwich generation” phase, which can lead to feelings of sadness, resentment, anger, helplessness, and more. It's important to prioritize your own needs, even though it may seem difficult with so many others relying on you. Remember that you are the constant in this situation, so taking care of yourself should be a top priority. Seeking counseling in Flower Mound TX or Southlake, TX can also provide you with additional support and guidance during this challenging time. With the right tools and resources, you can successfully navigate through the demands of caregiving while maintaining your own well-being.
Put on your mask first
I know we tend to tune out to the safety discussion that the flight attendants give before we take off on our flight, but try to remember, what do they tell us to do if the air masks come down from the ceiling? Secure your mask before securing others. Why is that? Because you won’t be any help to them if you can’t breath and are passed out! This is true in our everyday lives. When you’re caring for a parent and your family, you’re going to be going a million miles a minute, with very little room to do anything for yourself, BUT, I’m telling you to make time for yourself. You are no help to your family, or your parent, if you are so worn out and sick that you can’t eventually do anything. SELF-CARE is key!
Ask for help
It's okay to ask for help, especially when it comes to dealing with challenging situations within your family. Remember, you don't have to be a superhero to handle everything on your own. Seeking assistance doesn't make you weak; in fact, it shows strength and awareness of your limitations. Just like Wonder Woman, who undoubtedly faced her own obstacles, you can benefit from reaching out for support. Consider exploring family counseling as a valuable resource. Even though I haven't seen the movie, I believe it's important to acknowledge that we, as regular humans, don't possess superpowers. It's natural to experience a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, so taking the time to prioritize self-care is crucial. When someone offers to help, don't dismiss their offer as a mere pleasantry. Instead, take it as an opportunity to communicate your needs and ask for the assistance you require. Remember, people can't read your mind, so it's essential to open up and express what you're going through. Family counseling can provide a safe space for everyone involved to share their perspectives, gain insights, and work towards healthier dynamics.
Feel the feelings
When you’re angry, let it out. When you’re sad, let it out. When you feel helpless, ask for help. You could literally feel all of these feeling in one day, maybe even in one minute! Change is hard, and this time is all about change. It’s hard to watch your parent not be able to care for themselves as they could previously, and to watch the grief that they are going through. I know you feel the need to be tough, and to keep it all together, but you also don’t want to numb or push away those feelings. They have a funny way of popping up at the most inconvenient of times. We can’t run away from our feelings, they will eventually catch up to us. So we need to feel them. Talk about your feelings with someone, whoever you trust and can confide in, maybe your partner, sibling, best friend. This helps you to feel you’re not alone too.
I’m not going to sugar coat it. This isn’t an easy, or fun time. It’s a part of life that is sad for many people. However, it's important to acknowledge that everyone deals with stress in different ways. In times of difficulty, stress management is key. I could reframe the situation, saying “at least your parent lived this long” “aren’t you blessed that you can do this” but those are pleasantries that can feel fake and can fall on deaf ears. So, I will leave you with what my best friend told me yesterday, and I know it’s true for all of you, “You are capable of amazing things!”
Reach out to one of our therapists at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!
